In a time where social norms, standards, and stereotypes run through almost everyone’s head, being yourself and loving yourself is hard for anyone to do. Even though the thought of loving yourself for who you are and what you look like may seem hard to do, especially with all of your insecurities or low self-esteem bringing you down, it’s actually quite easy to do.
Confidence by definition is a feeling, but in reality, it’s a choice. When we focus on our certain insecurities, fears, or doubts, we choose to act and let them dictate our lives. Instead, we can choose to be confident and walk with your head high and look in the mirror with a smile.
Confidence is the best medicine for low self-esteem or insecurities, and it’s really easy to obtain. Some of the ways I like to work on my confidence is by practicing self-affirmation. Not the boring middle-aged, before-the-job-interview “I will get the job” affirmations. I’m talking about a more modern and easier-to-take version of self-pep talks.
Go the nearest mirror to you and point out what you like about yourself. “Wow this outfit is cute, sis,” “I’m really out here looking this cute,” “dang my skin is heckin’ clear;” whatever it may be that you like about your presence, name it, state it, or just give yourself compliments. Metaphorically take back your mirror and look into it more often and don’t be ashamed of what you see. Stop by it more often, take cute selfies in it, have a mini fashion show in it while picking what cute outfit you’re going to wear next. Take it from someone who doesn’t really look at what society deems a “perfect body”. Looking in the mirror more often and accepting/loving what you see in it is a great feeling and will totally help with how you see and carry yourself.
Another tactic to live with more confidence is wearing what you want and what makes you feel comfortable. I can’t stress this enough, but NEVER listen to what others tell you what you can or can’t wear. Gurl, if it comes in your size buy it, PERIODT. You choose what you look good in. Some days you can wear an oversized shirt, some leggings, and crocs, or other days a real boujee outfit, just really giving everyone an iconic fashion moment. It doesn’t matter, because it’s your confidence that’s going to bring you and the outfit together.
A motto to follow is “You wear the outfit, the outfit doesn’t wear you.” I don’t know who said it, I just heard it on Fashion Police one night and it’s stuck with me. It means if you wear a nice outfit but don’t wear it with confidence, others will only remember or focus on the outfit and not who’s wearing it or how you’re wearing it. So the world is your runway, and with the right amount of confidence, you can make something from the thrift store look like it’s designer.
A final tip on how I boost my confidence, and my personal favorite, is creating a bad b**** playlist. Music can set a mood for anyone, so find some of your favorite songs that make you feel confident and put them in a playlist. Add some upbeat songs and even some female empowerment songs. Some suggestions from me include the ever-so-iconic, “Feeling Myself” by Nicki Minaj, “Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande, “ Money” by Cardi B and “I Got It” by Charli XCX. That playlist alone will change your life, but any song that makes you feel good will work. Play it while you’re getting ready, when you’re feeling down, when working out, or during a nice walk, which is my favorite time. It makes you feel sooooo good–you just strut your stuff down the halls and feel like a million bucks.
Using these tips and tricks to feel more confident will only do so much, and the main thing to do for better self-esteem is believing in yourself and loving yourself for who YOU are. You are beautiful, you are loved, you are special, you are unique, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Embrace yourself for what you are and what you have. Or, another way to say is this quote to live by originally written by Oscar Wilde: “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” So be who God made you to be and live life to the fullest. Do you boo, and be confident.